The Business August 1st 2012, "The 2012 Summer Of London" Edition

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
 In just the first 24 hours of the 2012 Olympics, more than 60 hours of footage was on TV. AND WE STILL CAN’T GET ENOUGH. The incredible athletes, the tear jerking and inspiring stories, and BOB COSTAS, BOB COSTAS, BOB COSTAS. Since we can’t catch a flight out to fill in one of those much maligned empty seats, we are bringing YOU the gold this Wednesday night, so you can take an Olympic break, breath some fresh air and catch some live entertainment. Live entertainment that is less likely to make you feel like a failure for not trying harder at 5 years old.

Our guests this week are real champions.

The comedy of Kevin O'Shea centers around one thing, the truth. He is full of the truth. He has an over abundance of truth. Some people say that he has too much truth for his own good. These people are right. Last week a doctor found truth in Kevin's urine. He needs your help now more than ever, as he faces a never ending series of painful dialysis treatments. (If you read this to yourself in a BOB COSTAS voice, and don’t cry, it’s because you’re a robot.)

We will also be joined by Red Scott. When not on stage, Red explores the myriad of ways an individual can be indoors and fully protected from the sun. His podcast discussing Game of Thrones, “Boars, Gore, and Swords” has twice been featured on BoingBoing. He performs all over the Bay Area, and is a regular at The San Francisco Punch Line, The San Jose Improv, Rooster T Feathers, as well as the usual dive bars and laundromats.

 
We also welcome Jeff Kreisler, Winner of the Bill Hicks Spirit Award for Thought Provoking Comedy, radio host on PRN, regular on Showbiz Tonight & MSNBC, writer for Comedy Central, IFC, TheFinalEdition.com & TheStreet.com, cast member of Shoot The Messenger, author of the bestselling "Get Rich Cheating," exec editor of "My Wall Street Journal," and star of hit international festival shows, Jeff Kreisler explores politics, business, culture, and life with passion, absurdity, and hope. Jeff now lives in New York City where he enjoys his newborn son, naps, commas and run on sentences.

“There's like five women pregnant at my office. I've taken to falling down the stairs when I leave just to be safe.”- Colleen Watson. I won’t say anything TOO nice about Colleen, as I know she is skilled in the art of compliment avoidance, (“Some nice woman complimented me on my comedy at an open mic. I replied, ‘You have low standards.’ I need to work on taking compliments. “- Colleen Watson.) but you can find these and other hilarious Colleen quotes @colleen_watson and you can see her with us this week!

Alex and the Chrises (Chrisi?) are down in LA, getting ready for the arrival of the whole Business crew for our Friday Aug 3rd show at NerdMelt with Guy Branum and Bobcat Goldthwait . Sean, Bucky and Caitlin will be here holding down the fort.

Word to the wise- The Business has been selling out! Be there on time to make sure you get a seat. No one will be turned away without a high five.

Help Desk Hangouts: Google Apps

Friday, July 27, 2012






The Business July 25th 2012, "The Regulars get Irregular" Edition

Monday, July 23, 2012
The Business has much to celebrate! Change is in the air. In exciting but bittersweet news, the imminent departure of beloved Businessman Chris Garcia to the wilds of LA means that we have just a few more opportunities to see him do his Business while he’s still reppin the 415. Don’t miss this one! Chris Thayer is down there already, so it seems The Business will soon have the Los Angeles Chris market cornered!

We also have some excellent guests joining us this week.

We are happy to welcome three time Laugh Factory Fresh Faces winner Stroy Moyd to the show. Stroy’s energetic and eccentric brand of comedy has made him a favorite at comedy clubs and campuses across the nation. Within one year of arriving to Hollywood, Moyd has already produced two of Los Angeles' hottest comedy shows, the Laugh Bowl at the Laugh Factory and Young Funny Sundays at the Improv. The owner of the Laugh Factory, Jamie Masada, called Moyd "the next Redd Foxx". He is also producing excellent shows here in the Bay Area, we are happy he has a night free to stop by and Business with us.

Dave Schilling is a stand-up comic and the host of a monthly comedy variety show, Hottt Newww Videooo!!! w/ Dave Schilling, at the Hollywood Improv Lab in Los Angeles, CA. He is currently working on the writing staff of the web series, How It Should Have Ended, for the Machinima YouTube network. Soon you can see him in the feature film adaptation of Tao Lin's novella, Shoplifting from American Apparel, which is currently making the rounds of the festival circuit. He also likes to write about himself in the third person (which is convenient for us in the first person plural).

As always, the show is just $5 and your Burritos are welcome.

2 for 1 coupons at http://thebusinesscomedy.blogspot.com/ !!!

Speaking of things to celebrate, The Business has been selling out. If you want to secure your seat, arrive before 8!!

If we sell out, no one will be turned away without a high five.

The Business LA with GUY BRANUM and BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT!

Friday, July 20, 2012




Oh Los Angeles.
Ohhhhhh Los Angeles.

It's been a while since the Business and Los Angeles got friendly, and SO MUCH has been going on. We need to talk all about it when we return to The Nerdist Theater at Meltdown on Friday August 3rd. And we're returning bigger and better than before. How we doin' that you ask? Check it out:

Not just will all original members of the Business (Alex Koll, Sean Keane, Bucky Sinister and Chris Garcia) be on hand to get funny, but our two newest recruits will be with us: Caitlin Gill and Chris Thayer. It's time to show LA what out sold-out crowds in SF already know: These two are the BUSINESS! Real talk.

What else? How about two amazing guests: Comedian/writer/actor/notary public Guy Branum and comedian/writer/actor/filmmaker/firestarter Bobcat Goldthwait!

Plus, as always, the Medically Transported Burrito Raffle and more...

Tickets are $10 at the door, but $8 online with NO SERVICE CHARGE!

Get tickets here:
http://nerdmeltla.com/tickets2/index.php?event_id=165

The Business July 18th 2012, “What Louv-ly Poseys” Edition

Monday, July 16, 2012



 “Three goats are playing soccer. Christopher Hitchens, driving an armored car with a huge, blunt lance attached to the front, chases them off the field while chuckling eruditely to himself.” – This is one of guest Matt Louv’s dreams. Find more of his subconscious musings at http://bearswithcigars.blogspot.com/
We are pleased to have Matt as a guest at the Business this week, along with the fabulous Brandie Posey.

Brandie is “a real sweet heart. Probably from all the high fructose corn syrup”. She hit Los Angeles in 2007, quickly making a name for herself in the comedy scene through nerdy jokes about Renn Faires, sharks and an affinity for Abe Lincoln. She has been compared to Patton Oswalt, Matt Braunger & Janeane Garofalo in style and in eyewear. It is a pleasure to have her back.
Also appearing, the natural force of good known as Dr. Foxmeat! They should name a tropical storm after him, but only a tropical storm that rains love and blows winds of funny. Foxmeat is the real deal. 



Rounding out the line-up are your Business regulars. You won’t see Chris Thayer this week, he’s off catching rays of smog down in SoCal brah, but Chris Garcia, Alex, Sean, Bucky and Caitlin will be there to tickle your fancies.

BYO$5 and BYOBurrito!

Serving mobile customers

Consumers are always on-the-go, which means they frequently search for products and services from their mobile phones. After searching on a smartphone, more than half of users visit a store in person and many of those people make a purchase, either in-store, online, or by phone.

Obviously, if consumers are searching for you or something you offer, it’s important that your business show up! The tips below will help you to evaluate your current website on a mobile device, make improvements, and measure your changes.




Help Desk Hangouts: SEO Webmaster Academy

Friday, July 13, 2012
Editor’s note: Each week on the Google+ Your Business page, we’re putting you in touch with Googlers and users who can help you as a business owner get the most out of our products and features.

In our latest Help Desk Hangout On Air, we talked about SEO with the masterminds of Google’s Webmaster Academy. Our experts, Alexi, Michael, and Matt, walk you through how Google Search works, how you can set your site up for success, and more. They also answered your questions in real time. Miss the event? You can watch the whole thing on the Google and Your Business YouTube channel.


Check out the video description on the YouTube page for a minute-by-minute breakdown.


Some of the questions we answered during the Hangout:

My site used to rank really well, but now it doesn’t. What happened?
There could be several reasons that your site is not be ranking in search the same way that it did in the past. Three common reasons why this may happen are that your site has a technical problem which is preventing Googlebot from accessing it, your site violates our quality guidelines, or your site is simply ranking differently due to changes to our algorithm, which is updated hundreds of times per year. The first thing we’d recommend to diagnose your issue is to check your site in Google Webmaster Tools, a free service that gives you information about how your site is performing in Google. If we’ve detected a problem with your site, we may have sent you a message there. For a more detailed checklist to help you diagnose a change in ranking, visit our Help Center.

I'd love to learn more about the Knowledge Graph and what, if anything we should be doing as SEOs & Webmasters.

The Knowledge Graph is a way for users to see additional relevant information on searches for certain people, places and things on the right hand side of the results page. This information helps users get to answers quickly; in many cases, they may find answers to questions they hadn’t even thought to ask. It also helps people discover more about the topic they’re interested in by showing people, places or things that are closely related to their searches. For example, if you search for an artist like Leonardo da Vinci, you’ll see a short biography, some of his most famous works, and other frequently searched-for artists. Currently, there isn’t any functionality in Webmaster Tools to be included in the Knowledge Graph. Right now this is not about individual businesses but rather about generally known facts about the world.

How do you rank item detail pages where there may be many websites which have the same item for sale (with a standard "technical description")? Who rises to the top when the content is basically static?

Great question! Many merchant and affiliate sites use product descriptions taken straight from the manufacturer or from the end merchant site. While sometimes this can be appropriate, we typically recommend looking for ways you can add your own value to that page - can you provide some original reviews or recommendations about the item? If you are adding value of your own you’ll be providing a better experience for users. If you are concerned about this, check out our material on duplicate content and watch this video about our Webmaster Guidelines.

Where can I go for more information, help, or to prove my own knowledge?

Our experts mentioned a bunch of incredible resources available to you. Here are a few links to get you started:


As mentioned in the recording, our Help Desk Hangouts will be occurring every other week moving forward. Be sure to join us for our next Hangout at 11 a.m. PDT on Wednesday, July 25th. Look out for the topic announcement on the Google+ Your Business page.


Online Marketing and the Health and Fitness Industry

Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Keeping fit is very important for individuals not only to feel and look better but also to beat illness and sickness as they age. The health and fitness industry has seen steady growth in recent years with numerous fitness centers mushrooming everywhere. This industry could not avoid the Internet and most fitness professionals discovered new tools to promote their facilities online plus they even created products specifically for their online audience. They embrace online marketing within their growth strategy. Many are those fitness professionals who get lost when it comes to marketing and even more in online marketing. They are excellent in their training techniques but when it comes to online marketing, they simply freeze and do not know from where to start. First of all they have to focus on their objectives and on what they can create to differentiate of competition. Once these objectives are established, they have to be communicated to the potential clients. Many forget that the Internet provides them an international presence. One can target only their preferred locality. However I always recommend going beyond the local perimeter. If you have a good product that can make you more money, why limit it only to your locality? This is the beauty on the Internet. With a good online marketing strategy you can reach million of potential customers online. In fact, many were those who once they realized their online potential, they got into another world and could not stop creating products and enjoyed every second of their success. Online success must also be monitored with great caution. I’ve seen many in this industry that passed on the wrong message and actually ended up scaring customers away. There were many who claimed that their fitness routine is the only way to get fit and criticized competition. Now it might be the case that one has the best routine but this is a heavy statement. First I see is disrespectful to other industry professionals and secondly new techniques are discovered daily and hence such statement can only harm your image. The Internet provides endless information to your customers and they know how to decide. They can make you or break you. Humility is also an online virtue. Profits should not come before people. Profits will come in due time. Add value to your product and money will eventually come. It should be about helping people and adding value to their lives and not taking from them. It should be about having fun and enjoying life. So when you are drafting your online marketing strategy, always keep your clients in your mind. The end result will be that you will be proud of and can always rely on an online business based on your values, your passion, your training philosophy and your brand. Never let anyone to try to convince you otherwise. The health and fitness industry is a delicate and lucrative industry and hence do not play with people’s lives. Online marketing gives you the opportunity to grow your business. Do it with passion and you will reap the results.

The Business July 11th, 2012, "Rick's Wish Is Our Command" Edition

Monday, July 9, 2012
You know that song where Rick Springfield sings, "You know I wish that I had Jesses, girl"? Well his wish was granted, kinda...cause this week THE BUSINESS GOT THE JESSES, GIIIIIIIRL! There's no "i" Jesse, but we've got II:

Jesse Elias--2011 Twisted Biscuit winner and alumnus of both SF Sketchfest and Bridgetown Comedy Festival--returns to the business with his bashful exhibition of mental-doodles created in the absence of social interaction.
http://jesseeliasstuff.com/
Twitter: @JesseNElias

Jesse Hett has performed at the San Jose Improv and the Rooster T. Feathers comedy club. He likes to say comedy, pet animals, build machines and take naps.
http://jessehett.tumblr.com/
Twitter: @JesseTheHett

If the Dark Room is a kind of bottle, then this week's regular Business-genies are Caitlin Gill, Bucky Sinister, Chris Thayer, & Sean Keane. Come and rub us the right way!

8PM/B.Y.O.Burrito
@ The Dark Room
2263 Mission St. (b/w 18th & 19th)

*Alex Koll and Chris Garcia are out this week, both auditioning for the role of Apu in the upcoming Aladdin porn parody on ice.

The History of Mercedes Benz

Thursday, July 5, 2012
Mercedes is known throughout the world as a symbol of wealth and class. Mercedes Benz cars are well known for its quality and durability. Did you know that all Mercedes cars are personally signed off to maintain its quality by top engineers in the automotive industry? The history of Mercedes Benz goes back almost 150 years ago back to when Gottlieb Daimler got together with Karl Benz to form this brand that we all know today. More than a hundred years ago, the birth of two men set the history of Mercedes Benz. Gottlieb Daimler was born in Germany. A decade later, Karl Benz was born also in Germany. Interesting enough, there were 60 miles apart but they both shared a common interest. At a very young age, both were already exposed to machines but both had different approaches to building cars which no one believed at that time they will merge. In the year 1886, Karl Benz made his first motorized tricycle which was soon followed by a four-wheeler in 1893. Daimler on the other hand built a horseless carriage in 1886 and two years later struck a deal with William Steinway to produce his horseless carriages in the United States. Steinway produced Mercedes cars and trucks for 3 years. This was a stepping stone for the history of Mercedes Benz. The war in Germany, played a very important role to the birth of this prestigious car. With a downfall in economy, there were little or no fuel for cars and a high tax of 15% made automobile production disastrous and because of this, Benz sought for a strong partner considering DMG but was rejected initially. Then, the economy became worse and there were very few cars in the United States with only a third of cars produced by each Benz, Ford and DMG. Due to necessity, Benz and DMG signed an agreement of mutual interest while maintaining the individual identities. The greatest achievement in the history of Mercedes is when both DMG and Benz merged. There was an insignia made for the merger of both companies. The insignia was a three pointed star with a laurel around it with the words Mercedes on the top and Benz at the bottom. The merge was very successful and production their cars rose to about 7000 automobiles in 1927. In 1930, the largest and most prestigious car was launched and Mercedes Benz remained one of the leading brand in automotive industry till today.

The Business July 4th 2012, "BORN ON THE FOURTH OF INDEPENDENCE DAY" Edition

Tuesday, July 3, 2012



God loves America so much, for our birthday He gave us a Friday right in the middle of the week!!! The Business is planning to truly celebrate our Constitutional right to fuck off from work until the Communists bring us another Monday. We are gonna let the eagle soar like she’s never soared before with some very special guests and few very noisy, dangerous firecrackers obtained at a roadside shack from a man with a balding mullet carefully arranged in tiny braids. AMERICA.

Our guest Mike Drucker could easily portray someone defending our nation on TV. In some fatigues, he would really bring the role of Exploding Soldier #3 to life. He lets SNL, The Onion and IGN use his scraps, but he saves his A game for The Business.

Lyall Behrens brings to this Independence Day the bold prowess of Will Smith AND the Jeff Goldblum brains. He’s the co-producer of the most excellent SF Comedy Cellar showcases here in San Francisco, CA, 94102, AMERICA.

Eric Cash is a stand up comic, writer, artist, animator, revolutionary, and mah jong champion (which, in honor of the holiday, we will call Freedom Jong). He has performed everything everywhere. We are more than happy to give our nation 246 birthday spankings with him.

Give us $5 American Dollars, and we will give you a show. BYOBurrito and Mexican Coke (even on the 4th, it’s way better than the crap we make here).